i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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