We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
