Define "chronic" masturbator.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
