I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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