He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
