Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
