first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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