I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
