So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
