love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
