The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
