He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
