Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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