So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
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I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
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A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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