Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
