I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize