Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
