WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
