Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
