why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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