Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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