I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
