Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
