Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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