Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
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Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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