I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
