So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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