My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
