sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
