I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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