Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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