so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
false alarm, still single
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