thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
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The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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