also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have post one night stand depression
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