How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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