The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
