after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
