Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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