It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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