did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
