I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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