no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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