i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
