My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
