eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My butt remains clenched, sir.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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