Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
