Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
