I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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