i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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