Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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