I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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