I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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