It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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