The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
