We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
