People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
