I'd wear matching sweaters with you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
