Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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