Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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