somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
