I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
